Often times when you are talking to ether friends or co-workers you will hear the words, “Its okay, what they don’t know won’t hurt them,” uttered. Today we are going to look at the topic of lying to one’s significant other. Is it okay, is it not? Is it okay to not tell the entire truth on a subject or just best to always be forthright in every situation?
Craig & Angela Bickford share their thoughts in this week's He Said/She Said.
I have never been in any type of relationship in which I felt it was okay to lie about anything. I always looked at it as if you were too ashamed or uncomfortable to talk about the situation or topic with the ones you love the most, then it probably was something that you were better off not being involved in. There have been times in my life were I have not discussed something with my partner, such as a lunch that I had out with a co-worker or an old friend, not because I was trying to hide something, but because I did not look at it as a big deal. What I have found that happens in those situations is that eventually it is going to be brought up somehow and it would have been better to have just talked about it when it initially happened. My wife and I share our feelings on everything, from finances to hobbies, and I feel like it is much easier to just be honest from the beginning than to beg for forgiveness while attempting to clean up the mess in the aftermath.
I agree with Craig. It's better to just be upfront about things. Even omissions can be seen as a form of a lie. And, who hasn't had this conversation before: "Honey, how does my hair/dress/makeup/etc. look?" "Uh..." I mean, what's a guy supposed to do in that situation? Does the girl really want his honest answer? Is it okay to say something nice and flattering here even if you don't mean it? Honestly, I don't think it's humanly possible for a person to never tell a lie. The scale on which lies occur is a wide one, and there are many forms of lies. (Omissions, little lies, grand lies, etc.) I have lied to my husband about simple things (mostly because they were embarrassing). This would include the time I let him think someone else ate the last of the cookies... But, I have also caught him in little lies. And, all of our lies, whether little or big, have come out eventually - some causing a laugh and some causing harm. I think the main reason people lie is to protect their pride, at least that's true for us. The good news - over the years of being together, we've learned to forgo our human tendency of telling lies in favor of having an open, honest relationship with each other. We now share everything, even if it is a little embarrassing, and we're better for it. While that might not work for everyone, I would say that, in my opinion, the less lying you do, the less you have to keep track of!
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